Another Way
by RedQ
Summary: "I'm here to kill our greatest enemy, Flash," Future Barry gritted. - "And who's that?" Barry asked, "Who's our greatest enemy?" - "You are."
1. Let Him Die a Hero

**Disclaimer: This story is loosely based on a storyline from the comics in which Barry's future self comes back to the past to try to kill him. The concept is the same, but this story will be** ** _very_** **different from the comics.**

* * *

 **Let Him Die a Hero**

* * *

A flash of light suddenly alerted the team to Barry's presence in the cortex. The flash was brighter than usual, though, and they hadn't been expecting Barry to be at STAR Labs right now. His father had just died, and he was supposed to be at home with Wally and Jesse.

Even the defeat of Zoom hadn't lifted Barry's spirits, and he had told them to go to STAR Labs without him, which was why they were surprised to suddenly see him standing there, in full Flash attire.

"Barry," Joe said in surprise, "I thought you were going to stay at home."

Barry let out a heavy sigh as he reached up to lower his cowl. They all gasped when they saw him. It was Barry, but it _wasn't_ Barry—not _their_ Barry, anyways.

He looked older. His face, although still fairly youthful, had slight lines etched in it around the corners of his eyes, and his chin was slightly broader. Now that they looked closer, his suit was a slightly brighter red, and his muscles were definitely larger.

He was Barry from the future.

"Hi, everyone," he greeted, and they couldn't help but notice that his voice was slightly deeper.

"Oh, my God!" Cisco yelled excitedly, "This is awesome!"

The older Barry managed a slight twitch of the lips at Cisco's enthusiasm, but he quickly resumed his somber expression. Aside from Cisco, none of them said anything at first. Most of them simply stared at him in shock. Finally, Joe decided to speak.

"What are you doing here, Bar?"

Older Barry's lips twitched again at that.

"I haven't heard that nickname in a while," he muttered.

They all frowned at that.

"What do you mean?" Iris asked, "Why…?"

"I'm here to change things," Future Barry said, moving past the subject.

"Allen," Harry said seriously, "You should know better by now than to do that."

Future Barry let out a humorless laugh.

"Trust me," he said darkly, "I've learned that lesson the hard way. I needed to come back, though. I needed to do the right thing. This was the only way to fix the mistakes I've made…or _will_ make."

"What do mean?" Caitlin asked, "What mistakes?"

Future Barry turned his somber eyes on her then.

"It's so good to see you, Caitlin," he whispered, tears forming in his eyes.

Caitlin was taken aback. What was _that_ supposed to mean?

"I've come here to ask for your help," Barry moved on quickly, "I need you to do something for me."

"What?" Joe asked.

"I need you to kill me."

No one spoke. They all stared at him in shock, certain they had heard him wrong.

"You want us to…?"

"Kill me," he repeated calmly, "I _need_ you to kill me. The past me, anyways."

They all paled.

"Barry," Iris choked, "We're…we're not going to…kill you."

"Why the hell would you ask us to kill you?!" Cisco demanded.

Older Barry let out a heavy sigh and ran both hands over his face.

"To stop me from making the biggest mistake of my life," he sighed, "To stop me from ruining all of yours."

"What do you mean, Allen?" Harry questioned.

"I—Your Barry is about to do something incredibly stupid," he told them, "He's about to ruin everything."

"What is Barry going to do?" Iris asked fearfully.

Future Barry shook his head.

"Just trust me. It's bad," he warned, "And you need to kill him before he has a chance to do it. Once it's done, it can't be undone, and the effects from it are going to escalate to catastrophic proportions."

"What on earth could Barry do to cause so much damage?" Joe asked quietly, his voice shaking.

"Does it have something to do with Zoom?" Iris asked fearfully.

Barry shook his head.

"No," he said, "He defeated Zoom. That's why I waited until now, this night, to come here. I waited until after Zoom was taken care of."

"You need to explain this to us more," Joe huffed, "You can't just come here, ask us to kill you, and not give us a reason _why_."

Future Barry shook his head again.

"I can't explain that to you guys," he said painfully, "Not only would you not fully understand, but by doing so I could be messing with the timeline even more than I already am right now. You don't have time to argue about it. Your Barry's going to do something awful, and he's going to do it _tonight._ "

They all stared at him in shock, their eyes wide. All except for Iris. She was glaring at the older Barry.

"If you want to kill yourself so badly, why don't you just do it yourself?" she snapped, "Why come to us?"

"The time paradox," Harry muttered.

"What?" Joe asked.

"If he kills his past self, it'll create a tear in time," Harry explained, "It will open up a wormhole, just like…"

"Just like when Eobard's ancestor killed himself," Cisco said, understanding.

They all looked at Future Barry then.

"Bar," Joe said firmly, "I don't care about whatever horrible thing it is you say your past self is about to do. We're not going to kill you."

"You have to," Barry choked, "This isn't just for my sake. Or even yours, for that matter. This is about the sake of the world—of time itself."

Future Barry bit his lip then, clearly regretting his choice of words.

"Time?" Caitlin echoed, her eyes widening, "Barry's going to mess with time?"

"He's going to save his dad," Joe said, suddenly understanding.

They all looked sadly at him then, knowing he was probably right. They all knew Barry would give anything to go back and change how things had happened with Zoom. Really, he was grieving, and he would do anything to save his dad—to get his father back.

Future Barry shook his head.

"Worse," he said darkly, "He's going to save our mother."

The others' eyes all widened.

"Oh, Barry," Iris said softly to herself.

"You can't let him do this," Future Barry warned, "You can't let him go back and change things."

"So, what if we just stop him?" Joe asked, "Why do we have to _kill_ him?!"

Future Barry looked at him with sullen eyes.

"Because he'll do it anyways," he said sadly, "Even if you stop him tonight, he'll end up making the same decision later on. Trust me. I know. I know myself better than anyone. You can't imagine how many times he's thought about it, even before our dad died."

The others looked down sadly, thinking over everything future Barry was telling them.

"And…" Barry continued, "And he still won't learn his lesson. Even after seeing the consequences of time travel, I…I still did it again. Countless times. Trying to fix things. Trust me, the temptation to meddle with time is too strong. I wasn't able to resist it, and no matter what you do, your Barry won't be able to resist either. Even if you convince him not to save his mother, he'll still eventually try to change time for other reasons at some point in the future, and the consequences will be…catastrophic."

"Barry…" Iris squeaked, "We're not going to kill you."

"You have to," Barry persisted, "You don't have a choice. The powers that I— _he_ possesses are too dangerous. They're too corrupting. Too tempting. I'm ashamed it took me this long to figure that out, but I see it now. The only option is to kill him."

"There are so many alternative options, though," Caitlin insisted desperately, "Barry doesn't have to _die_. We could…we could take away his powers or…"

She shook her head, straining to think of other solutions. Future Barry looked at her with sad eyes.

"If there's one thing I've learned from all the times I've lost my powers—and trust me, it's been quite a few times—it's that no matter what, I get them back, one way or another. I wasn't just struck by that lightning. I was chosen by the speed force. It's a part of me, and it always has been, long before I ever got my powers. I know it, and your Barry knows it. The lightning will always find him."

Future Barry let out a heavy sigh before continuing.

"I know this is a lot to take in, and it's hard for you all to understand, but it has to be done, and it has to be done tonight."

He pulled his cowl up over his face again then, and he looked at them with a mournful expression on his face.

"I wish there was another way," Future Barry said softly, "Just always know that I, that _he_ , loves you, and if you had a chance to explain it to him, he would support this decision. He's a hero, after all. For now. Let him die a hero, before he makes this mistake and unintentionally becomes his own villain."

With that, Future Barry flashed out of the room, leaving them all to stand there in shock, processing his words.

For the longest time, all they could do is sit there, thinking over what future Barry had said, all that he had told them. After a moment, Joe looked around at everybody, taking in the thoughtful expressions on their faces.

"We're not seriously considering this, are we?" he demanded.

"No, of course not," Cisco said, "We're thinking of a solution."

"We should probably get home," Iris said seriously, "Future Barry didn't exactly say what time this was supposed to be happening, but for all we know, Barry could be running back in time any second. We have to be there to stop him."

They all quickly moved to leave the lab then, not really wanting to think about what they supposedly "needed to do" and focusing more on just getting to the house. In record time, they all made it to the house and burst in through the front door.

They were all surprised to find Barry sitting on the couch with Wally and Jesse, watching the news report of Zoom's defeat on the television with the others. They didn't really know what they had been expecting. To find Barry suiting up, getting ready to save his mom? To find him already gone? They had all been thinking the worst.

Jesse, Wally, and Barry all looked up when the others abruptly burst into the house, panicked expressions on their faces.

"What's wrong?" Barry asked them immediately.

They all stared at him, stared at the once-again youthful face of Barry Allen, Barry Allen who, a minute ago, had just been justifying to them why they needed to kill him. Iris's stomach churned as she looked at Barry, sitting cluelessly on the couch, staring back at them with a confused expression on his face.

"Nothing," Joe answered him, eyes carefully scanning over Barry's face.

Was he already planning on changing time? Had he already been sitting here, thinking about going back to save his mother?

Joe gave Barry an uneasy smile.

"We were just worried we wouldn't get back in time to watch the news report of the Flash's victory."

They all did their best to seem calm, like nothing was wrong. All looking at Barry out of the corners of their eyes, they slowly moved to sit down in the living room with the rest of them, looking at the TV screen, when really their main focus was on Barry.

Barry seemed to accept Joe's explanation, and his attention had returned back to the screen, but his eyes were far away, as if he wasn't really seeing it. They all watched him nervously, all exchanging worried looks. Of course, Barry would be distracted, though. His father had just been killed in front of him. It was only understandable that he wouldn't be entirely there right now.

They were all alarmed, though, when Barry suddenly stood up from the couch.

"Where are you going, Bar?" Joe asked him nervously.

"Just going to get some air," he muttered, his voice distant.

They all exchanged worried looks as Barry walked out the front door, shutting it softly behind him.

"We have to stop him," Caitlin said instantly.

Jesse and Wally looked at her in confusion. Before they could ask what she meant, though, Joe spoke up.

"I know Barry," he said seriously, "If we all go out there at once and confront him, he'll probably bolt."

"I'll go," Iris volunteered, "Let me talk to him."

Her father gave her an uneasy look but then nodded.

"Here," he said, holding something out to her, "Take this…Use it only if you need to."

Iris sucked in a sharp breath as she looked down at her father's hand. She let out a shaky breath as she nodded and took it from him, pocketing the small object before promptly exiting the house after Barry.

"What's going on?" Wally asked.

"I'll explain later," Joe said seriously, as they anxiously watched Iris disappear through the front door.

* * *

Iris was surprised to find Barry sitting on the top step of the porch, leaning his head against the frame the way he had after his dad's funeral. She cautiously moved closer to him, quietly sitting down next to him to peer into his face.

All she saw there was pain and grief. She could see how much he was hurting, and it killed her that she couldn't take this pain away from him. There was nothing she could think to say to comfort him. Iris was surprised, though, when Barry spoke first.

"I can't stop thinking about my dad's doppelganger," he whispered.

Iris gave him a sad look, not knowing what to say. Everything in her head just sounded stupid and unhelpful.

"Seeing him," Barry continued, "Knowing that he's out there…That should have made it easier. It doesn't. It just made me miss him even more."

Barry eyes filled with tears as he finally turned his head to look at her. Iris opened and closed her mouth a few times before speaking.

"I can't even imagine how hard that must have been," she whispered, her heart breaking for him.

Barry looked away thoughtfully for a second before looking back at her and speaking again.

"We just won," he said seriously, "We just _beat_ Zoom. Why does it feel like I just lost?"

Iris had to fight to stop tears from forming in her eyes. She could see now. She could easily see why Barry was about to make the decision he was. He would do anything to get this pain to stop.

"Because you've lost a _lot_ in your life, Barry," Iris said, thinking it was probably the most unhelpful, uncomforting thing she could say, "More than most."

She needed to show him he hadn't lost everything, that he still had a life worth living here—in _this_ timeline.

"But," she said, leaning forward, "Maybe you and me…seeing where this thing goes…Maybe that can _give_ you something for a change."

Iris was slightly relieved when Barry offered her a small smile.

"That's all I ever wanted to hear you say," he said, smiling sadly at her.

Iris smiled guiltily at him in return, feeling as if she was only saying these things to keep him from making a huge mistake. _No_ , she thought to herself then. She wasn't just saying this to stop Barry. She _meant_ it. She loved him, and she found the idea of him going back in time, changing this—changing _them_ —unbearable. Her smile faded when Barry continued to speak then.

"And I wish that I was in a place that I could try that with you," he said painfully, "But I feel so hollowed out inside right now. I feel more broken than I've ever felt in my life. If I'm ever going to be worth anything to you, I need to fix what's wrong with me. I need to find some…some peace."

Iris felt all the blood drain from her face. Future Barry's words echoed in the back of her mind.

 _He'll do it anyways._

She wasn't going to be enough to stop him, and Iris didn't blame Barry for that. She couldn't blame him for being broken. Zoom may as well have ripped _Barry's_ heart out that night with all the pain he had caused.

"Barry," Iris choked, knowing there would be no talking him out of this at this point.

She knew what had to be done. Iris could barely keep her voice steady as she spoke to him.

"You've always been there for me. For years, you've always stood by my side. I'm going to do the same for you. I'll be whatever you need, whether that's as a friend or…more. I'll be here to help you do whatever you need to do to find the closure that you need. I'll always be here for you, Barry, no matter what choices you make."

Barry stared back at her with watery eyes.

"Okay," he whispered.

Iris had to fight back a sob.

"I love you, Barry," she whispered, fearing her voice might break from all the sobs she was trying to suppress.

Slowly, with tears still in his eyes, Barry leaned forward toward her, and Iris closed her eyes, a few tears now falling down her face. When his lips finally met hers, Iris felt her heart both melt and shatter at the same time. It was the gentlest kiss she had ever experienced yet filled with more raw emotion than she ever thought a single kiss capable of.

And then it was ruined.

Barry gasped, his lips suddenly leaving hers. Iris was afraid to open her eyes, but when she finally did, it was to see Barry's staring back at her, wide open in shock. He leaned back then, away from her, and he looked down to see the tranquilizer dart in his abdomen where she had stabbed him. He looked back up at her with an expression of confused betrayal on his face.

"I'm so sorry, Barry," Iris sobbed as he started to slump over where he sat, still looking at her with confused eyes filled with hurt, "We'll explain later. I couldn't let you make a decision you would regret for the rest of your life. I couldn't let you do it."

"I-Iris," he gasped, now lying on his side on the porch.

"I'm so sorry, Barry," she cried, as his eyes slid shut, "But this was better than the alternative. I'm so sorry. I love you, Barry."

As her father and the others then came out onto the porch to help, Iris slumped back against the porch frame, sobbing uncontrollably.

"You did what you had to do, Iris," her father assured her, kneeling down next to Barry, who was now out, "It was the only thing we could do."

"Come on," Cisco said heavily, painfully looking down at his unconscious friend, "Let's get him in the pipeline before he wakes up."

As they lifted Barry and carried him over to the car, Iris slowly rose from her seat on the porch to follow, wondering if Barry was ever going to forgive her for this. She didn't know what was going to happen, but she knew they were definitely not going to kill him.

Barry was alive, and he was going to stay that way.


	2. Blue

**Blue**

* * *

"What have we done?" Iris choked as the glass door closed, sealing the pipeline cell shut with Barry inside, "What are we _doing_?!"

"Stopping Barry from making a huge mistake," Cisco said firmly, "As painful as this is, it's better than the alternative. It's better than doing what Future Barry said."

"He's going to be so confused," Joe whispered, looking through the glass at his unconscious son, "He's not going to understand why we're doing this to him."

"We can explain it to him," Caitlin reasoned, "We'll explain everything his future self told us, and we'll convince him not to ever mess with time so that that future never happens."

"He'll do it anyways," Iris whispered, "That's what Future Barry told us. That no matter what we do, Barry will always be tempted to manipulate time. He said his powers were corrupting."

"What if we just take away his powers?" Wally suggested, "Problem solved."

Joe shook his head.

"Even if I could do that to him—which I don't know if I could—Future Barry said that the lightning would always find him. I'm not exactly sure what he meant by that, but I think he meant that Barry will always be a part of the speed force. He'll always gain his powers back, one way or another."

"And why are we blindly believing everything Future Barry says, anyways?" Wally demanded, "We don't even know if he's telling the truth. Barry clearly goes crazy in the future if his future self really thought we were going to help him _kill_ himself. It's the most messed up form of assisted suicide I've ever heard of!"

"That _is_ what this is, isn't it?" Harry said thoughtfully, "This is essentially Future Barry trying to commit suicide for the good of humanity. Ever the hero."

"Well, according to Future Barry, he isn't a hero," Iris said bitterly, "He referred to himself as the villain."

"But that's just Barry, isn't it?" Joe sighed, "Of course, he would see himself that way. He would blame himself for everything and do anything he could to fix things, even if that meant sacrificing his younger self."

"Well, we're not going to participate in it," Caitlin said firmly, "We're going to find another way."

Just then, their conversation was interrupted by a quiet groan from the other side of the glass. They looked over just in time to see Barry's eyes flutter open. He blinked a few times, staring at the ceiling of the pipeline cell as he quickly pressed a hand to his stomach, where Iris had injected him.

Barry's confused daze didn't last long, however, and a second later, he shot up into a sitting position, whipping his head towards the glass to see them all standing there, watching him. Everyone present had a strong sense of déjà vu with the whole situation.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Barry demanded as he got to his feet, swaying slightly, "Why am I in here again?! Why did you drug me?!"

Iris's heart clenched when Barry looked directly at her as he asked his last question. The look of pain and betrayal on his face made her heart shatter.

"Barry, it's okay," Joe assured quickly, "We'll explain everything; just calm down."

Barry turned his glare on him.

"Is this your new thing now?" he spat furiously, "Every time I do something wrong, you're just going to lock me up? What did I do this time?"

"Barry, this pains us just as much as it does you," Joe choked, "We wouldn't put you in here unless it was our only choice."

"It's not what you _did_ , Allen," Harry explained, "It's what you were _going_ to do."

Barry's angry expression morphed into a expression of confusion. He looked questioningly at each of them in turn.

"Someone needs to start explaining _now_ ," he said seriously.

Iris opened her mouth to speak, but just then, they were cut off by a sharp beeping sound. An alarm going off in the cortex. There was an intruder.

"Guys, let me out," Barry ordered, a look of worry on his face.

They all looked at him with pained expressions.

"GUYS, LET ME OUT!" Barry screamed, "Let me help!"

"I'm sorry, Bar," Joe said quickly as they all turned and ran out of the pipeline to get to the cortex.

They could all hear Barry still shouting and screaming at them to let him out as they ran down the hall, but his shouts faded as they made it into the cortex. When they did, they were all shocked when their intruder came into view.

A dark speedster stood in the cortex, engulfed by blue lightning as he vibrated in place. Their hearts all clenched at the sight of him.

"No," Iris sobbed, "Barry defeated you! How are you here?"

The vibrating and the blue lightning stopped then, and they were all relieved to see that it wasn't Zoom come back to haunt them. The suit wasn't black either, they realized. It was a dark blue, almost black. The speedster reached up and pulled back his cowl to reveal a familiar face.

"Barry?!"

"You didn't listen to me," Future Barry said darkly.

"Bar, what _happened_ to you?" Joe asked fearfully, taking in the dark suit and the occasional spark of blue lightning that emitted from Future Barry's body, "You didn't look like this before. Why is your lightning _blue_?"

"I have _you_ to thank for that," Future Barry spat, "You changed _everything_. You should have listened to me. Because you all didn't do what I told you had to be done, the future I returned to was even worse than before."

"What?!" Caitlin ejected, "What changed?"

"You stopped your Barry from going back to save his mother," Future Barry gritted, "And by doing so, you created a new timeline."

"Well, that would have happened anyways," Joe challenged, "You wanted us to _kill_ him. To kill _you_. That would have created a new timeline, too."

"It would have created a _better_ one," Future Barry gritted venomously, "Now, you've just made things worse. You didn't prevent Flashpoint from happening. You just changed the circumstances behind its origin."

"We can stop Barry from doing whatever he's going to do," Joe insisted, "We can reason with him."

Future Flash laughed humorlessly, and the coldness of the sound sent chills down all their spines. It wasn't Barry's laugh.

"I was never _capable_ of seeing reason," he spat bitterly, "I was naïve and stupid. I was always trying to _fix_ things by messing with time, convinced that I could still save everyone and put things right. I was never reasonable about it. Until now. Now, I know what has to be done, and if you're not going to do it, then _I_ will."

With that, he flashed out of the cortex.

"NOOO!" Joe screamed when they looked at the computer monitor to see him entering Barry's cell.

He phased right through the glass! How was that even possible?!

They all ran to the pipeline at as fast as they could and skidded to a halt outside the cell, in which both Barry's were now standing, staring at each other. Needless to say, Barry was extremely confused to have a strange, older version of himself suddenly standing in front of him. He stared at the other man in fearful confusion. Future Barry, however, glared at his younger self with an expression of purest loathing.

"Who are you?" Barry asked in confusion.

"I'm you," Future Barry answered, his voice filled with venom, "I'm future you."

Barry looked at him in shock.

"What are you doing here?" he asked seriously.

"I'm here to kill our greatest enemy, Flash," Future Barry gritted.

"Barry, don't!" Iris cried through the glass of the cell, "Don't do this!"

Future Barry didn't acknowledge her, though. He continued to glare at his younger self.

"And who's that?" Barry asked seriously, "Who's our greatest enemy?"

"You are."

Future Flash's fist suddenly slammed into Barry's jaw, sending his head whipping back as he fell, sprawling on his back on the floor.

"What are you doing?!" Barry sputtered.

"I'm killing you," Future Flash answered simply, gripping his shirt collar to pull him to his feet.

He shoved Barry again the wall, slamming his head into the side of the pipeline cell.

"I hate you," he growled, his eyes flashing with blue lightning, "I hate you more than anyone else in the world."

"But I'm _you,"_ Barry choked, as his future self wrapped his hand around his throat.

"You're weak!" Future Barry shouted as he threw his younger self across the room, where he hit the wall.

Everyone watched in horror as Future Flash grabbed him again and slammed into another wall, not stopping his assault.

"You're weak, and naïve, and _selfish_!" the dark speedster yelled as he beat on his younger self, "Ruining everything you touch! Letting others sacrifice themselves for you! To fix _your_ mistakes!"

"Barry stop!" Joe begged, "Please don't do this!"

"He needs to die!" Future Flash screamed.

He pulled the bleeding and confused Barry off the floor and pinned him to the wall with one hand around his throat. His other hand drew back, vibrating menacingly as he prepared to shove his fist through his younger self's chest.

Future Barry was so caught up in killing himself, he hadn't noticed the cell door open.

The vibration blast Cisco shot at him was so strong, it sent both speedsters slamming hard into the back wall of the cell. Before Future Barry could fully get back to his feet, he was hit by a tranquilizing dart shot by Harry. He let out an angry yell and tore the dart out of his shoulder before rising to his feet.

He swayed slightly and seemed to be disoriented. Not so disoriented, though, that he wasn't able to catch the next tranq dart that Harry shot at him. He caught it mid-air, the same way Zoom had, and also like Zoom, he didn't hesitate to then turn and jam the dart into younger Barry's chest. Barry's eyes widened in shock before sliding shut as the drug absorbed into his body.

"STOP!" Joe screamed, when Future Barry raised a vibrating hand.

BANG!

The sound of the gunshot going off in the enclosed space caused everyone's ears to ring. Future Barry's eyes went wide as he looked down at the bullet wound in his stomach. Too weak to vibrate now, he wrapped his arms around his unconscious younger self's throat.

It didn't matter if he was wounded. All he had to do was kill younger Barry, and he will have succeeded in preventing the future. Before he could choke the life out of his past self, though, he was suddenly tackled off of him. Joe slammed him down and pinned him to the floor.

"It has to be done," Future Barry choked, blood spewing from his mouth, "I have to die. It's the only way."

"Well, we're going to find another way!" Joe yelled furiously in his face, "We're going to find another way, Barry!"

Future Flash didn't respond, though. He became too weak to speak, and no more words escaped him before his eyelids slid shut.


	3. Another Way

**Another Way**

* * *

It was a mess. That was really the only way to put it.

They now had two Barry's lying unconscious in the med bay, speed dampening restraints on both of them. One of them had tried to kill the other and was now recovering from a gunshot wound that Joe had been forced to give him, something that Joe was still struggling immensely with. He was still _Barry_ , after all, and he had shot him, but only to stop him from killing _his_ Barry.

It was a lot to process.

"Which one do you think will wake up first?" Joe asked tiredly, looking at the two Barry's, their beds side-by-side.

"I don't know," Caitlin said, "Our Barry was beat up pretty bad, but the only thing keeping him unconscious is the tranquilizers Future Barry injected him with. Future Barry was tranquilized _and_ shot, so I think he'll probably stay under longer."

"Good," Iris said, "I hope our Barry wakes up first—gives us a chance to explain. He still has no clue what's going on."

That wasn't the case, though. Almost immediately after the words had left Iris's lips, Future Barry started to stir. He groaned and turned his head, eyes still closed, but they didn't stay that way for long. Future Barry snapped awake with a jolt. He immediately tried to get out of bed, but the restraints on his hands made that impossible.

"Get these off of me!" he demanded, looking around at all of them, "Get them off _now_!"

There was something more than anger in his voice, though. It was fear. As he pulled at the restraints, Future Barry had a panicked look on his face.

"Why the hell would we do that?" Joe gritted, "You just tried to _kill_ yourself, Barry!"

"You ignorant bastards!" Future Barry shouted lividly, "You don't know what you're doing! This is more than just suicide! I _need_ to die! It's the only way!"

They all felt their hearts clench. Future Barry truly did believe what he was doing was right. He thought he was being noble.

"I refuse to believe that, Barry," Joe said firmly, "I refuse to believe that's the _only_ solution. I believe that _you_ think it is, but I think there's another way to fix things. You just haven't found it, yet."

Future Barry shook his head, angry tears forming in his eyes.

"I've tried everything," he whispered, his voice shaking in anger, "But like always, every time I try to fix things, I just make them worse. You don't know everything _I_ know, Joe. I wouldn't expect you to understand this decision."

"You're right," Joe said sadly, "I don't understand why you would do this, Barry. I don't know everything you know. But I _do_ know one thing. I know _you_. You're still Barry, just older. I _know_ you. I know that this idea of yours is just your idea of being a hero. I know you would do anything, would make the ultimate sacrifice, if it meant keeping other people out of harm's way. That makes you a hero, Barry, but it doesn't make you right."

"I'm no hero," Future Barry gritted, glaring lividly at him, "And you don't know anything about me, Joe. You don't know what I've been through, what _you_ did to me. All of you."

That threw Joe off. He blinked at Future Barry in confusion.

"What are you talking about, Bar?" he whispered.

To their surprise, fresh tears filled Future Barry's eyes.

"Thanks to you, the future I returned to was even worse than before," he choked, "It took a few months for my memories to shift, for the new memories to take their place, but once they did…"

"What happened, Barry?" Iris whispered, tears filling her eyes, "What's _going_ to happen?"

Future Barry shook his head and blinked away his tears.

"It doesn't matter," he said, not looking at any of them, "I'm going to change it. I'm going to end all of this."

"Well, we're not going to let you kill yourself," Joe said firmly, "You can get that idea out of your head now because _that_ is not going to happen."

Future Barry glared at him with a hatred they had never seen occupy Barry's face before. It was like looking at a stranger, familiar features warped into something unrecognizable, something foreign.

"Why do you hate him so much?" Caitlin asked Future Barry quietly, glancing at the other bed where their Barry still laid, unconscious, "What did he do? What did _you_ do?"

"He's not the only one I hate," Future Barry spat, glaring at her, "I did only what you _made_ me do. You all drove me to this."

"What do you mean?" Cisco asked seriously, "What did _we_ do to you that was so horrible?"

Future Barry deflated then, his eyes filling with tears as he looked down at his lap.

"You were trying to be humane about it," he mumbled, his voice shaking, "You didn't know _what_ to do. I understand that. It didn't make it any less cruel, though."

"What did we do, Barry?" Iris asked softly.

Future Barry looked up at her with watery eyes.

"You kept me in there for years," he whispered.

Their eyes all widened.

"W-what?" Joe asked shakily, "In the pipeline?"

Future Barry nodded, his eyes dark.

"We wouldn't _do_ that, though!" Iris cried in anguish, "That's not what we were planning to do!"

"She's right," Cisco said, "I was just going to propose that we—"

"Keep power dampening cuffs on me?" Future Barry finished for him, "You did. That's what you tried…at first. And I went along with it willingly. I gave up my powers."

"So, what went wrong?" Iris whispered.

Future Barry sighed and shook his head.

"I got sick," he told them, "My body started to fail me. Within a few weeks, I could hardly get up a flight of stairs on my own. Things got…ugly. My body just couldn't handle prolonged use of the cuffs. The speed force kept trying to come back. Once I started having seizures, you had no choice but to take the cuffs off."

"And put you back in the pipeline," Caitlin said sadly.

Future Barry nodded.

"I was a willing prisoner," he said, "I went along with all of it…because I trusted you. You all kept me company and even let me out of the cell sometimes to stretch my legs, but I couldn't be out for too long because I couldn't tolerate the cuffs for very long. They had caused chromosomal damage and from then on it caused me severe pain just to wear them."

He glared down at the cuffs around his wrists, restraining him to the bed frame.

"Are you in pain now?" Iris choked, looking worriedly at him.

Future Barry's head shot up to look at her, his eyes narrowing.

"What do _you_ care?" he spat.

Iris looked like she had been slapped in the face.

"Why, Barry?" Joe asked seriously, "Why do you hate us now?"

Future Barry's mouth was a thin line as he looked at Joe.

"Over time, I came to resent you," he said, " _All_ of you. Over time, you stopped coming. You stopped coming to visit me. Life got in the way. Your visits became less and less frequent, and after two years in captivity, my mind started to slip. After two years of being alone in a tiny box, I wanted out. I didn't want to spend my whole life in there. I asked you to let me out."

"And we said no," Caitlin whispered, tears in her eyes.

Future Barry's eyes swam with tears.

"You all started visiting more often again then," he choked, "You tried to keep me company. You gave me more books to read, more projects to work on, but it wasn't enough. It wasn't _real_. It wasn't _life._ I just wanted to live. I started to beg. I begged you to let me out. For another full year, I begged. But you all kept me in the cell…because _I_ told you to. Because future me told you to. Because past me made you promise you wouldn't let me out, even if I begged. And then I changed my mind."

"Barry," Joe choked, tears in his eyes, "You know that we—"

"Love me?" Future Barry snapped, his eyes narrowing, "I can't tell you how many times I've heard you say that to me, Joe. It's now just words to me."

Joe put a hand over his mouth, holding back a sob. This couldn't be real. This couldn't really be their future.

"What you all did to me wasn't love," Future Barry spat, "You left me in a cell to rot. It would have been more humane to just kill me rather than leave me in that cell to go crazy. And the more bitter I became about it, the more afraid of me you all became. Over time, you _feared_ me."

"Barry," Iris cried, "That's not true! We would never fear you!"

"Yes, you would," Future Barry said darkly, "Especially when I started trying to escape."

"You got out," Joe whispered.

Future Barry nodded, his eyes swimming.

"How long were you in there?" Cisco choked, "How long did it take you to escape?"

Future Barry slowly turned his head to look at him, his eyes glaring.

"Ten years," he whispered.

Their eyes all widened. Ten years. Barry was locked in a cell for ten years. _They_ had locked him in a cell for ten years.

"It took me a while," Future Barry continued, "You all were so careful. You knew I was smart. You didn't fall for any of my tricks."

"So how did you escape?" Caitlin asked softly, her eyes welling up with tears.

"The same way I got into the cell just now," Future Barry answered, "I phased through it."

"How?!" Cisco said incredulously, "How did you do that? I made that cell, myself. It should be unphasable."

"It took me years to learn how," Future Barry said softly, "But once I finally did, I got my freedom. And then I ran. I ran and never looked back. I went into hiding. You all tried to find me, but I stayed well hidden."

"So how does that lead you here?" Joe asked seriously, "What happened to make you want to come back here, to make you want to kill yourself?"

"Because…a year after I ran, I did the very thing you were all fearing I would do," Future Barry said darkly.

"You changed time," Iris whispered.

Future Barry nodded.

"I was half insane by that point," he said painfully, "I was alone, and I didn't know what to do. I didn't have a family anymore, and I…I was selfish. I thought that after all my suffering, I deserved happiness. I wanted my family back, my _real_ family, not the ones who held me prisoner for ten years."

Joe and Iris both felt their hearts clench at these words.

"So you saved your mother," Cisco concluded.

Future Barry nodded.

"I saved her," he said, "But I didn't get the future I wanted. I changed the timeline again and again, trying to put things right. I just wanted to be happy. I just wanted the life I thought I deserved. I was selfish. I was stupid."

Future Barry looked over at the bed and glared at his younger self.

"I hate what I did," he said softly, "I hate the decisions I made…who I became. I tried to reset things. I tried to put the timeline right, but…I only made things worse. Over and over again, I just messed things up more."

"And so you decided to _kill_ yourself?!" Cisco asked incredulously.

" _Yes_ ," Future Barry hissed, "I did. I decided to come back here, to _this_ moment, to fix things. One last time travel."

"Barry, this is _not_ the solution!" Joe choked, "How can you not see that?! There are other things we can do! We can help you!"

"I don't want your help," Future Barry whispered, "I just want to die."

They all realized it at once then. Barry wasn't here just because he wanted to set things right. He really just didn't want to live anymore after everything he'd been through.

"You're still selfish then," Iris gritted, glaring at him, "You're only doing this for _yourself_. You're killing your past self so he doesn't have to go through what you've been through."

"That's only part of it," Future Barry insisted angrily, "I really _am_ doing this for the greater good!"

"Before, you told us you didn't _want_ to die," Joe said seriously, "You told us you didn't want to do this, but you thought it was the only way."

"That was me from a different timeline," Future Barry reasoned, "After my first visit…everything changed. I hardly even remember the first timeline…the one with Flashpoint and the dominators and Savitar."

"What are you talking about?" Iris asked in confusion.

Future Barry let out a heavy sigh.

"It doesn't matter," he said, shaking his head, "That timeline was erased…and it was replaced with one where you locked me up for ten years until I lost my mind."

They all stared sadly at him, not knowing what they could possibly do to fix this.

"So we won't do that then," Cisco said simply, "We won't lock you up."

Future Barry let out a humorless laugh.

"Tried that already," he said bitterly, "I went back and stopped you from putting me in that cell."

"And?" Iris asked.

"And so I went back to being the Flash," he said simply, "I promised not to time travel again, and it worked for a while. But then Caitlin died."

"W-what?" Caitlin stammered.

"It was Cisco's fault," Future Barry told them, "He felt so guilty for not saving her…he begged me to go back in time."

They all stared at him, trying to wrap their heads around it.

"No matter what I do," Future Barry sighed, "No matter what timeline I go to, something always goes wrong. Someone always dies. I've watched every single one of you die multiple times. I've lived in countless timelines, seen more than enough tragedy for a lifetime. I'm tired. I'm tired of watching everyone die because of me.

"I wish I had just stayed in that cell, but I didn't. I _couldn't_. Me messing with time is what caused all of this, and the only solution to this problem is if I either go back in the cell or I die. I'd rather die than go back in the pipeline again, to those walls…the silence. I'd rather die than keep watching everyone I love die."

"I thought you said you hated us," Iris whispered.

Future Barry looked down at his lap, a million different emotions dancing in his eyes. Joe finally understood then.

"We hurt you," he said sadly, "We hurt you badly, and you felt betrayed. You felt betrayed by the ones you loved, the ones you _still_ love."

Future Barry looked up at him then with watery eyes.

"It doesn't matter what I feel," he whispered, "What matters is what has to be done. I've all but shattered the timeline at this point. I've been messing with things that are beyond my understanding. One thing I _do_ understand, though, is that time punishes you. It takes things from you when you mess with it. It takes _people_ from you. Someone has to die. That, I'm certain of, and I'm not going to let it be Dante. Or Caitlin. Iris. Any of you. It's going to be me. Then this lunacy will finally end. The timeline will be fixed."

"That's not a solution, Bar," Joe said sadly, "You dying instead of one of us isn't a solution."

"Yes, it is," Barry persisted, nodding firmly, "I'm not going to let any more people make sacrifices for _my_ mistakes. I'm sorry I have to kill your Barry. He's still innocent at this point. That's partly why I came back here, to _this_ time. I wanted to die while I was still a hero. I wanted to die with honor."

"There's no honor in suicide," Cisco gritted, "It's the coward's way out. I get that you think you're being brave, making this sacrifice, but that's not what this looks like to us. We can't believe you could ever possibly want this, that you would ever _want_ to die."

"I'm sad," Future Barry whispered.

The words were so brief, so simple, but at the same time, they said everything. Future Barry let out a heavy sigh before continuing.

"And I'm tired. I just want to be done—to reach my finish line. I just…"

"No, Barry," Joe said firmly, "I don't care how hard things might seem. I won't let you do this."

"Would you rather it be Iris?" Barry whispered, "Or anyone else? If someone's going to die, it might as well be the guy who _wants_ to die, right? The guy who caused all of this."

" _This_ Barry," Joe said angrily, pointing at their Barry in the bed next to him, "This Barry here, _our_ Barry, doesn't want to die. He would never want that."

"I'm him," Future Barry countered, "I know it doesn't seem that way, but I am. I'm future him. So you're wrong to say he would never want this. He just doesn't want it right now."

"That alone is reason enough not to kill him!" Joe said in frustration, "Dammit, Barry! Why can't you see that?! Why can't you see that _this_ Barry deserves a chance, a chance to do things right?!"

"Because everything he knows is wrong," Future Barry snapped, "Everything he does is destructive. He's going to make mistake after fucking mistake, until he hates himself as much as I do. Do you really want that for him? For me?"

"Bar, I know you've suffered," Joe said painfully, "I can't even begin to imagine everything you've been through. But the way I see it, you haven't been through any of it yet. At least… _this_ you hasn't. He deserves to be given a fighting chance, and so do you."

"Joe, you don't understand," Future Barry said brokenly, "I've been down this road before. I've been down _every_ road—explored every possibility. There isn't another way. There never was."

"Yes, there is," Iris said seriously, "You could stay here."

Future Barry's eyebrows furrowed at her words.

"What?"

"You could stay here," she said again, "You could stay in this time period."

Future Barry shook his head.

"How does that solve anything?" he asked seriously.

"You could be here for your past self," Joe said, understanding what Iris was suggesting, "You could guide him."

"You don't want me here," Future Barry said with a humorless laugh, "You don't want a dark future Barry around."

"We'll always want you around, Barry," Iris said firmly, " _Any_ version of you."

"I'm a time remnant here," Future Barry muttered, "I'm technically a time remnant to you guys. The only difference is that rather than there being a few minutes between us, there's over ten years."

They all looked down thoughtfully at that, trying to wrap their minds around it.

"It doesn't matter," Joe said firmly, "You're still Barry. We still love you. You said you've tried everything, but you haven't tried _this._ Just give it a try."

Future Barry shook his head.

"No," he said, "You're right, I haven't tried this before. At least, not _this_ me. But there was a version of me that's been through this before, and it didn't work."

"What do you mean?" Caitlin asked, giving him a confused look.

"Savitar," Future Barry said darkly, "You haven't met him yet, but I have. I still have some memories left from him—from that timeline. He was a time remnant— _my_ time remnant. He's been down this road before. He tried to live with you guys, as a time remnant. He tried to coexist with my original self, but it didn't work. He always felt like the lesser Barry, and those feelings ate at him and chipped away at his spirit until he lost his mind. I don't want that. I don't want to become him. If I stayed here, I'd always be the lesser Barry to you guys. I wouldn't have a _life_ here. I would go mad like Savitar did."

"But you would change things," Joe said quietly, "You would be able to guide this Barry, stop him from making your mistakes. You would change the timeline."

Future Barry looked down, his eyebrows furrowed in thought.

"You're right," he said quietly, "It would change things. It would shift the future, making it so none of this ever happened. The timeline I'm from would be erased. And eventually…"

" _You_ would be erased," Caitlin said sadly.

Future Barry nodded, a sad look on his face.

"The time paradox would catch up to me eventually," he said, "I don't know how long it would take, but…maybe that would be for the best. That's what I've been trying to do this whole time, isn't it? Erase myself from existence. I would get what I want, except this Barry…"

"He would get to live," Joe whispered, "He would go on to create a better future."

Future Barry smiled sadly at him.

"He could," he whispered, "With the right guidance."

* * *

 **I know this isn't a very satisfying ending. I was going to continue this, but then I realized it would be so close to my story The Pawn, and I don't want to write the same thing twice when I have so many other stories I need to finish. Also, I'm sure a lot of people, like myself, are sick of the time-traveling angst after season three. I'll be moving on to happier fics now :)**


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